A little over two months ago I had made a big mistake. I’m usually pretty level headed and responsible when it comes to decision making, but I can’t always be the ‘Perfect Innocent Selena Gomez’ that everyone is accustomed with.
Me and Justin had decided to take a break from work and go out and party a bit; what normal kids our age would be doing. With Kenny as our driver, we headed out into a random club in downtown LA and had a blast. Tons of drinks, hidden in water bottles for me of course, were chugged back, and lots of dancing happened. However, to my dismay, a bit more than that happened as well.
"Oh my god Justin, I love you so much!!" I leaned into his shoulder, resting my face against the nook of his neck.
"And it only took you a few drinks to realize that?" He said with a laugh, pulling me up to kiss me on the lips firmly. "Babe you should probably go to the bathroom. Didn’t you tell me you had to pee like, three drinks ago?"
I giggled, rubbing my nose up against his. “Oh right…damn I have to pee so badly!! I’ll be back in a bit babe!” I whisked away from Justin, running off to the nearest bathroom.
I stumbled in, quickly doing my business and washing my hands before I heard another set of feet walk in. I glanced over curiously, gasping. What the hell was a guy doing in the girl’s restroom?
"Hey gorgeous, weren’t you from that Disney show?" The tall guy moved closer to me, a sheepish grin on his face.
"Uhh yeah I suppose. I think you’re in the wrong…"
Before I could finish, he had pulled me up into an embrace. Everything that happened in the next 15 minutes was a blur. I just remember him forcing me up against the wall, forcing me to kiss him, and forcing my dress up.
I guess Justin got a bit worried, since he knocked on the bathroom door and appeared soon after the man had left, finding me crying on the floor.
"Sel, Sel are you okay? Maybe you’ve had a bit too much to drink, let’s go home babe." Justin helped me up, assuming that my excessive crying was from being drunk. I was too embarassed to tell him the truth, so I just clutched my arms around him tightly and followed him home.
And here I was today, staring down at a small pink plus sign that meant the end of my world. The plus sign that sent half the world into tears of joy, and the other half into tears of sadness or fits of anger. Unfortunately for me, knowing that I was pregnant was not a joyful event. Me and Justin hadn’t fooled around in ages due to lack of time, so I knew it wasn’t his. We only saw each other for a few days at a time between both of our responsibilities, so it had been at least four months since we last had sex. But I didn’t forget that dreadful night at the club. Hell, I often had nightmares about it, but I kept trying to repress the memory. I hadn’t even thought about it till I realized I had gained a tiny bit of weight. Sure I had missed my period and all, but sometimes I was irregular. Or well, I was mainly in denial.
"I’m homeeeee!" Justin yelled as he slammed the door behind him, using his spare key to come into my house. My parents were out for the evening, so no one was there to question his late arrival. I mean damn, even I didn’t know he was coming over tonight! I suddenly got flustered, throwing the pregnancy test into the trash before running out into the hallway. Justin had already made his way upstairs and greeted me with a big ole hug.
"Jay! You didn’t tell me you were coming over…?" I questioning, biting my lip nervously.
"Well I didn’t think it…wait. Sel, what’s the matter? Why are you shaking?"
I didnt even realize how nervous I was, and stared at my shaking hands before I felt tears well up in my eyes. I was speechless, unsure how to break the news to Justin. My belly showed just the tiniest bit of of a bump starting to develop, as I was probably already twelve weeks pregnant. I had a small frame, so to me the baby bump was blatantly obvious. Of course, with the use of flowy tops and sweaters, no one else had really noticed yet. Not to my knowledge anyways.
"I…Jay…I…" I couldn’t spit the words out. Instead I hid my face in his shoulder, feeling his strong arms hold me in a tight embrace as he rubbed my back gently. He always knew how to make me feel better.
"Shh don’t cry Sel, I’m sure everything will be okay. Is it something you want to talk about?" He stared down at me, planting a gentle kiss on my nose.
I wasn’t able to talk, so instead I just took his hand into mine and pushed it under my shirt. I firmly placed his hand over my stomach, holding it over the tiny bump. I knew I had gotten the message across once his complexion suddenly went pale.
Selena was starting to worry me. She was just randomly breaking down into tears without speaking, and I had no idea what the problem could be. I just continued to hug her until she took my hand, letting her push it up against her stomach before I took in a sharp inhale and lost color. She was..pregnant?
"Wait..Sel you’re…wait.." I was suddenly freaking out. I pushed Sel back, holding her firmly by her shoulders as I stared straight into her eyes. "Sel we haven’t had sex in ages, how is this…" Then it hit me. She was pregnant with somebody else’s child. And by the size of her belly, this didn’t just happen last week. This was an old story.
I was suddenly overridden with anger, my eyes glazing over as I let go of her shoulders. She shook her head, wiping her tears off with her sleeve. “Justin, it’s not…it’s not what it seems like. I mean, it is, but it’s not!! I.. I didn’t cheat on you!”
"Then how the fuck are you pregnant Sel? People don’t just become pregnant out of the blue. You fucked another guy? And you didn’t even tell me?"
She started sobbing more, but I couldn’t help my anger. My one and only girl had cheated on me.
"Justin, I was raped!" She suddenly muttered out between sobs, about to fall to the floor in defeat as I leaned forward to wrap my arms around her before she fell. Suddenly all my anger turned into guilt.
"Oh my…Sel, why didn’t you tell me! Are you okay? When did this happen? Fuck. Who the fuck did this to you?" I started to raise my voice, holding her firmly against my frame. Then again, most of that didn’t really matter. What mattered was that my beautiful girlfriend was pregnant.
Sel didn’t respond to any of my questions, but I tilted her chin up so our eyes could connect. “Sel, we are going to have a baby. You are going to be a mother. And i’m gonna be a father.” Of course I would raise it like my own, as I knew we could never get rid of a blessing like that. Even if the baby came out of bad circumstances, he or she was still residing in Sel’s belly.
I couldn’t believe my ears. I was so relieved that Justin was okay with everything. That he was gonna help me raise the child as one of our own. That I was gonna be a mother.
"Your first job as a future father is to buy me a jar of pickles."
Justin laughed, shaking his head. “Figures. What’s next, you need me to buy you some new shoes?”
"Justin! That sounds perfect. I’ll get my purse." I giggled, poking my tongue out at him.
We were gonna be a beautiful family.
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